Reflecting on change in relationships
Everyone grows differently
It goes without saying that we grow at different rates and therefore shouldn’t compare our growth to that of others. We’re all unique in who we are as well as in our experiences. We might grow happily among another plant in our pot until something changes – our flowers bring insects that eat at the leaves of the plant next to us, or maybe our roots need more space to spread out and we need to move. Whatever the case is, a change is needed for both plants to continue their growth.
Does this mean we’ll never be able to grow with each other again? Not necessarily! It means that we need to adapt and recognize the changing nature of our relationship. We need to celebrate the past we share, appreciate the newness of the present, and prepare for the unknown of the future.
Change can be unnerving, especially when it comes to relationships. If we were happily growing with a friend, letting them go and move onto new adventures can be difficult. This is especially true when we don’t understand why, and think they’re making a mistake. If we genuinely care for the wellbeing of our friend, it’s important to share our concerns. It’s important to communicate how we feel, and maybe we’ll be doing our friend a service and/or find understanding for ourselves. Hopefully our friend respects our honesty and we can enter the next stage of relationship with newfound peace.
It’s equally important to recognize that our friend may understand themselves in ways we cannot, and they know how they need to evolve for the sake of their wellbeing. Maybe they have already evolved and we have been unaware of it. In either case, we must remember we cannot make choices for our friend. We can only offer support to the best of our ability, and give our friend and ourselves any necessary room to grow.
Focus on learning about the unique combination of nutrients and conditions you need to grow, and tend to your roots, stems, and leaves. Our time apart – temporarily or permanently – is an opportunity, and we can use it to care for our mind, body, and spirit. Improving our understanding of ourselves helps us understand how we affect and are affected by others, and we can apply what we learn from this self-exploration to strengthening our relationships.